I finally did it... Around this time last year, some of the cast were talking about how cool a poem like "The Night Before Christmas" about Rocky would be. I took up that task and finished the poem a few months ago. I sent away for the copyright and received it yesterday so I can now post it online! Enjoy... Look for more RHPS poetry to come. You can submit poems if you'd like, or email me any poetry suggestions you'd like to see!

The Night Before Rocky
Based on "The Night Before Christmas", author unknown


ĎTwas the night before Rocky, all over my floor
Lay fishnets, lay garters, and quite a lot more.
I struggled to group them all into one bag,
My mom saw the mess and she started to nag.
"I want to sit down and I canít with this mess!
Why is this house such a pigsty? Confess!"
The words, they just kept flying out of her face,
"If you want to live like this then get your own place!"
I looked at her, heaved a big sigh, and I moaned,
"Itíll be gone tomorrow so leave me alone!"
So I sat and I laid it all out scene by scene
(Once I remembered to wash it, I mean)
On weddings! On blowouts! On Frankenstein Place!
On finding the makeup to do Janetís face!
And then I got scared and my palms got all wet ó
There was a huge hole in my right foot fishnet!
I scurried for needle and scoured for thread
As quickly and swiftly I filled up with dread.
But hark! A noise do I hear on the roof?
A clopping noise like a high heel or a hoof.
Then right at that moment came down from the chimney,
A pair of platforms and the legs of Tim Curry!
The elevator up in its soot-blackened shaft
Grew lower and lower ó I felt rather daft.
"Oh, wow! Youíre Tim Curry!" I managed to say,
"I worship you and your sweet transvestite way!"
And Tim Curry said in his marvellous voice,
"Baby, donít panic, I here so rejoice!"
Before I could ask if Iíd started to doze
Appeared on my floor a brand new pair of hose!
"You saved me, Tim Curry!" I uttered in awe,
Abstaining from pinching that stone-chiselled jaw.
I couldnít believe this! Do my eyes deceive me?
When I tell the cast will they all believe me?
Before I could give one more thought to the matter
Announced the saviour of my hose and their tatter,
"How common this sad Friday night going-on!
Iíll soon get another ó Iíd better be gone!"
So the lift, it ascended, I whispered in bliss,
"Goodnight, sweet transvestite, Iíll never forget this!"
And a voice echoed out as I flicked off the light,
"Merry Rocky to all and to all a good night!"




In Frankie's Fields
Based on "In Flanders Fields" by John McCrae


In Frankie's fields the fishnets blow
'Tween Brad and Janet, lo and lo
How Dr. Scott lost his wheelchair;
Janet, her diaphragm. Not there?
Perhaps it's buried down below.


We are in drag... short hours ago
We danced clad in yon stiletto
And wounded, saw the castle fly
From Frankie's fields.


Riff Raff was Frankie's final foe:
Flanked by Magenta, he did throw
Frank down. Out loud did Rocky cry
And with his master he did die
We shall not sleep, save for our woe
In Frankie's fields.

"The Night Before Rocky" and "In Frankie's Fields" © 2001 by Je. Fehr


This page was last updated on January 31, 2002.

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